The relationships we establish throughout life can sometimes help form a portion of our identity to a certain extent. They are not confined to just being romantic, in fact some of our most impactful relationships are not necessarily through romantic partnerships. We more often than not, cling to relationships based on the longevity and familiarity created. One of the problems I’ve found myself in has been tied to my value in loyalty and investment. It wasn’t until I started to unpack, reevaluate, discover and pour into myself through therapy, that I now realize that my relationships were chosen and developed through my trauma. Yes, my trauma produced them for the post part and now the healing version of myself is no longer desiring or aligning with some of those people. I’m no longer the broken version of myself, so I am no longer longing to stay in dead spaces and unhealthy connections. I don’t desire one sided relationships or the need to stay in relation just because the length of time bonded us together. I’m no longer without boundaries or constricted to playing nice and people pleasing. I would much rather now show up as my evolving self and lose people, than stay confined into the space of pretending to be a version of me that no longer exists. With growth there is a rebirth of your identity that was once submerged due to the trauma or life altering experiences that occurred. Views, values, outlook, tolerance and self awareness begin to navigate how you show up and maneuver life. It is sometimes disgusting to think of the things I once thought was normal to endure from people and the bare minimum I accepted due to my lack of understanding myself worth. I mourn some relationships that unfortunately has to end, in order for me to fully prosper or make space for individuals that cater to who I am becoming. I find myself relishing in the growth taking place within me. Growth may be costing me some connections but one of my most cherished ones, is the one I’m creating with this healing version of myself.
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